Dalai Lama when asked what surprised him most about man he said:- “Man”
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health, then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
There is no doubt that we live more comfortably than did our ancestors of a hundred years ago. The quality of our lives has been enhanced as a result of technical advances & social progression. As a consequence, however, our expectations have also grown. Regrettably these expectations are not being met for very many people. We have come to understand that fulfillment is based on external, as opposed to internal factors. We believe the behavior of our friends, family, colleagues, bosses, financial markets etc. will determine whether our expectations are fulfilled.
We have, therefore, too often come to the conclusion that our happiness is somehow determined by others! Because we can usually not control these external factors it is no surprise we have a world ‘epidemic’ of unhappiness fueled by fear, frustration, blame, jealousy, ‘depression’, anger, greed, hate, worry, insecurity etc. etc. We can not control all the actions and outcomes of third parties but can only control the meaning we give them. That is to say, our THOUGHTS.
At the end of the day, ‘who are we?’ We are our thoughts! Think about it. Think good (positive) things and we are happy, think sad / bad (negative) things we are sad. So why think negative? Its the meaning we give things. See the attached link. for my one page layman’s guide to the process our brains go through to determine how we will feel at any given moment in time. This process will ultimately determine the path your life takes. It is an on going cycle that can be broken at any time , literally in a split second.
Life is the accumulation of our experiences, influenced by our free will, and to which we give meanings and create our feelings. Feelings that determine our values and beliefs which in turn determine our behaviour. This behaviour creates the quality of our next experiences….and so ..
Understanding this will help avoid negative behaviour and improve your ‘next experience’. Many will scoff when told they are the sole architects to building their lives. In fact the words ‘self development’ are enough to make many people run a mile. Despite this there has been a massive industry created around Personal Development. More and more people are seeing through their ‘self denial tactics’, realising that they need to understand the WHY behind their thoughts and behavior before arriving to the HOW they are going to change. In resume we can say :-
Personal development includes activities that improve awareness and identity. It develops talents and potential, it builds human capital and facilitates employability, enhance quality of life and contribution to others as well as to the realisation of dreams and aspirations taking us ultimately to a level of higher consciousness.
It was once said that if you want to realise your dreams you first have to wake up. For me this waking up is more a case of seeing things from another angle, or ‘Outside the Box’ . Inside the box being where you are at the moment. Einstein said :-
‘We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.’Or put another way ‘We cannot solve our problems with the same mindset that created them. His definition of insanity was:-‘Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ Know anyone who does this? Someone close to home! So how do we get out of this box?
Well, a good start is by being aware of the alternatives available to you if you experience that your current feelings are not leading to a fulfilled life. Once you have realised this ‘Shift’ in thinking the key word is Maintenance.i.e. maintaining it. You can start by just hearing the ideas & experiences of people that have started this transition. Today you are looking at these ideas, tomorrow go else where. This will help you see and hear life through someones else’s eyes or ‘BOX’. There’s no guarantee their box is better, its just different. Its up to you to decide what works best for you. In my experience a great place to start this journey is by watching the film or reading the book of ‘The Secret’. Understanding the ‘The law of attraction’ will be vital for your journey.
The Secret has started a lot of us on this journey. It really gets you thinking. However although the power of attraction is real, there is infinitely more to it. The concept is fascinating. Although we have all used these techniques at some time to achieve successes in our lives it is usually at a subconscious level. What is really interesting is the concept of attracting, subconsciously, the negative aspects into ones life.
Searching deeper into his search for knowledge the sites creator came across an author he first read in the 80`s Dr. Wayne Dyer. His book ‘Your Erroneous Zones’ changed his whole outlook to life from the age of 20. From that time he never looked back…..until that is 20 years later when he had achieved all the things he had set out to do but did not feel fulfilled. The very important piece missing from ‘The Secret’ is that you don’t attract what you want but what you are! Its about the being and not the wanting.
Without this additional information the Power of Attraction could possibly be the solution to our ‘WELL HAVING’ but will not be a life long ‘solution’ to our WELL BEING. Dr. Wayne Dyer has written dozens of books in the last 35 years. The fascinating aspect of his work is that although his focus has changed dramatically over these years his older writings remain relevant. I have read and listened in audio format to most of his books. My favorite being ‘The Power of Intention’ and ‘Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao I attached below a lecture that he gave on The Power of Intention which I really recommend you watch.
In 2009 Wayne Dyer created the film ‘The Shift’ (trailer below) which is a fantastic introduction to the man and his work. What is The Shift? He writes…
‘Early in life, we follow the path mapped out by ego, a path of ambition, competition, and striving. When midlife dawns, we too often find ourselves stranded in a lonely and desolate place we never intended to visit. Our feelings of sadness and frustration tell us we took a wrong turn. Like a shift in the wind or a change in the tide, the yearning we feel at midlife is a call to renewal. The Shift shows us the path home, the path to rediscovering our true self, our purpose, and the life of meaning that is our true calling.’
Dyers objective is that 10 million people see this movie. I have no doubt that if this remains on You Tube 100 million will see it as the world itself makes its own SHIFT. Enjoy this enlightening film.
We will see Wayne Dyer in the Spiritualism section again. In the meantime I will introduce you to a modern day genius in the world of Self Development.
There are plenty of good self help gurus out their but if you want to start anywhere start with Robbins. He’s American, he’s in your face, but (and) he’s THE BEST! The first I heard of Robbins was six years ago before I began my journey of discovery. When I listened to him he just made so much sense. I purchased his audio course ‘Get the Edge’. Six years later I still listen to this course each year, and as my awareness increases I hear new things on the same discs.
Here’s a short introduction to the man.
He writes books, has done hours of audio programs, and does amazing seminars. Heres a resume of his ‘Release the Power Within’ seminar
Tony Robbins helped me understand why I was doing what I was doing. I strongly recommend you search out Tony Robbins work on the internet. During these early years I stumbled across Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and took a practitioners course. In brief NLP is a form of phycology that allows the patient, in a question of hours, to pick themselves up and overcome whatever is holding them back from fulfilling their lives. This is as opposed to years or extensive and expensive therapies, or at worst, a life time of Psychiatrists’ DRUGS. More on Psychiatrists in the mental health section.
NLP is a bit like an ‘Owners Manual’ for your brain! At school and college we learned wonderful things like history and geography and algebra. But we did not learn much about how to ‘feel good’ or to have great relationships. That’s where NLP comes in. NLP is a set of insights and skills which you can actively use mentally for your emotions and your body to run your own life more successfully and to communicate with other people in ‘extra-ordinary’ effective ways.
NLP is an ever-growing collection of information and insights, backed up by a huge range of mental NLP techniques that can enable you to improve ‘how you think, behave and feel’ – and assist others to do the same. Becoming skilled in NLP will enable you to :-
- Do whatever you already do reasonably well but even better.
- Acquire skills and attitudes in order to do what you cannot do right now, but would like to be able to do.
- Think more clearly.
- Communicate more effectively with others.
- Manage your thoughts, moods and behaviours more effectively.
It was created by two Americans. Computer programmer Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder. They noticed patterns in behavior and invented quick precise solutions. They were particularly horrified by the techniques of Psychiatrists. They believed that NLP would be useful in “finding ways to help people have better, fuller and richer lives”. They coined the term “Neuro-Linguistic Programming” to emphasise their belief in a connection between the neurological processes (“neuro”), language (“linguistic”) and behavioural patterns that have been learned through experience (“programming”) and can be organised to achieve specific goals in life.
I found NLP extremely useful for my personal development, however, it raised new questions. The person who taught me obtained amazing results with people that had had really horrific experiences as children. I really admired his ability, but as a person he did not convince me..how could this be?
The person who answered this for me was Stephen Covey. His world famous book ‘The seven habits of highly effective people’ is a masterpiece. In it he explains how the emphasis of human behavior has shifted in the past 80 or so years from a character based, principal driven ethic, based on :- Integrity, Fidelity, Courage, Compassion, Contribution, Responsibility, & Justice. To a personality based ethic concentrating on techniques,( i.e on how to look good, how to dress), or in other words, how to create a good image. Although some personality techniques can be very valid, if you don’t possess, as a base, the Character ethic you will not have the power to create enduring effectiveness. Covey explains this very well in this short clip.
The rise of the Personality ethic has nurtured our world epidemic of ego. After all, if we are concentrating on our image we become what other people think of us! We are what we ‘have’ (i.e. the taking) as opposed to what we ‘provide / contribute’. (i.e. the giving). We are what we do, or what our family & friends do. I realised that whilst NLP is a fantastic tool, it is also, in the hands of people living a personality ethic, a potentially negative force as it can be used to manipulate people.
The last inspirational person I would recommend you study is the late great teacher, trainer and mentor to millions worldwide . Jim Rohn Jim truly had a character ethic and a great personality
Here Jim shares explains the day that turns your life around.
Jim Rohn created many audio courses including ‘Living and exceptional life’ which will be listened to in 100 years time as his principles and values will always create a fulfilled life. Check out his website. I leave you with a selection of some of Jim’s best quotes. My own favorite is :-
God Bless you Jim Rohn and may you rest in Peace